Thursday, May 10, 2012

Mother's Day Gifts

Mother's Day is just up the road a little bit. So, in case my children were wondering what to get me, I have a few suggestions.

This sign is in my town:

This sign is a lie. It is in front of one of the many antiques stores in my town. Remember? We have a very high antique store to resident ratio. Since these stores seem to be overly fragrant (either with mildew, musty goodness, or candles) I prefer not to shop there. 

Also, I am not a big fan of antiques... except for the Stern German. 

I would love to haul the sign down the street and aim the arrow at a liquor store or seedy bar in my town... bet mothers here would love their gifts to come from those places! (Not really being facetious!)

Yep, this is the store with the clever sign. Children of mine, take note, don't get my Mother's Day gifts here.

Also, this would be an even worse Mother's Day gift idea for me... I probably don't have to worry about anyone in my family really wanting to go spend a day on a farm. These are pretty much city girls I have...although Angsty Teen loves animals. I will just have to talk about the mud and manure and CHORES they have on farms. I think I could talk her out of wanting to go to see the animals. she has a severe allergy to CHORES.

This would be a fine gift for me:

This old house is for sale on the main street through town. It is huge and kind of cool. And, actually, we already own that round room in the back right of the bottom picture... something about paying thousands and thousands of dollars in attorney's fees to the person who owned the house back a while back. 

Don't think I can claim the spare room we think we already own. Don't think my children can afford this house. Don't think I want to go to the farm. (Definitely don't wanna have people say I bought the farm...) Don't want antiques. 

Well, guess I lied. I don't have ideas as to what my girls can get me for Mother's Day... but I definitely know what I don't want to get!

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