Thursday, June 28, 2012

I am an idiot...

Though the Angsty Teen has told me this repeatedly... and hinted at it with both verbal and nonverbal cues... I never really believed it... However, I'm afraid it is true. I am an idiot. Really.

I realized this last night.

I didn't start out the night as an idiot- in my opinion. I guess I slowly transitioned to that state....

Yesterday when the Angsty Teen said she wanted a pink stripe in her hair I didn't say I would do it. In fact, I just told her that might be fun... and no, I didn't tell her to call the saloon... wait, make that salon... I merely said, "What a fun idea. I wonder if salons do that?" To which she replied, "I will call Xpressions!"

(Seriously, I hate that name... sounds like a porn shop... how hard would it have been to put an "E" in front of that... Didn't they have enough money to buy a vowel?)

I digress... so she called them (only because it was her idea) and they said that they only did the clip on pink hair inserts and feathers... no dyeing. Dang.

Since the Angsty Teen likes me sometimes but seriously considers me an idiot most of the time, I really didn't think she would ask me to do the dyeing. So, in my defense, I was really caught off guard when she started by being sweet... and then, wham, she whacked me up side the head with the request.

I said...."maybe"...I thought we could go to Walmart and look at products... hoping for something really easy. This is what she found.
A semi-permanent one. I was pretty sure this was a bad plan, but...

She bought the kit.... and was so sweet... so sure I could do it... that I. said. yes.

I truthfully did not think I could mess it up. I thought it was idiot-proof. Although in dealing with the Angsty Teen and anything slightly permanent... look out.

Side note: I forgot how much she hates her straight teeth. Someday I will show you a "before" picture... that kid seriously looked like she could have had a walk-on part in the Twilight movie. Now her teeth are WONDERFUL and perfectly straight... and all she does is complain that they are "too perfect"...

A stripe... that sounds pretty simple... but when push came to shove she didn't really want a stripe.... she wanted a swath. I would have put a small stripe from the temple back. She wanted a wide swath back by her neck so when she put her hair up it would show nicely.

Got it done... helped her rinse it out because as much as I dislike the bathroom floor and the sink in the upstairs bathroom,  I am not in a financial position to replace it them. Got the swath rinsed out... and I left so she could shower.

Soon, thereafter, I heard weeping and wailing... screams, actually. The noise coming from the upstairs could quite easily be heard in the living room even with the door shut... and with my ears plugged... and with me loudly saying "La la la la la I am not listening to you."

This was all about the fact that the swath looked purple instead of pink. " It's not pink!" "It's purple!" "I hate purple!" "It was supposed to be pink!" "I told you we should have bleached it first." (Yeah, that would have been a great idea....) "I hate it!" "I knew it wouldn't turn out." "I don't have any purple clothes!" "I hate purple!"

Those of you with boys.. or with small daughters..or with non-angsty girls... or with no children at all that think that your children would never be this angsty.... Good luck. I hope you are right.

Told her to go to bed.... this was obviously not a good time to deal with it... I drank a glass of wine.

This is really all her own fault. Why would she ask me, the Idiot Mother, who has aging eyes, and had been sipping wine for an hour to do this to her hair?

I know, I am the adult. I should have listened to Nancy Reagan....*

Today we were at a gas station and I heard the Angsty Teen tell a friend, "I thought it was purple... but look how pink it is!" Giggle giggle, laugh laugh, hahaha.
The Wide Swath
This is the Happy Angsty Teen.... not sure if that is even a real phrase... if it is, it's probably one you won't read on this blog again anytime soon.
Look at those beautiful teeth! 
These are the folks I am linking up with today! Check 'em out.
Bassgiraffe's Thoughts Thursday Blog HopObviously MARvelous

*"Just say 'no!'"


  1. I have an angsty pre teen. I know exactly what you are going through. on a side note mine wants blue hair

  2. This is advice I will definitely have to file away for when my now 12-year old asks for pink hair! :-) Following you through the blog hop and definitely look forward to reading more. I love your writing style!!

    1. She could be asking for it any day now.... good luck!

  3. Too funny. I had red underneath my hair when I was in middle school. My mom tried to dye my hair once (she was a former hairdresser) but it wound up with a slight rust tint to it, so I went crying to my hairdresser to correct it and came out auburn (I'm a natural blonde). My mom about fainted. So at least it didn't go that poorly!

    1. Sounds like it could of been much worse! I am so old that pink hair wasn't a thing when I was that age!

  4. Bahahaha!! Love all of this! (...and love the labels on this blog just as much!) I'm right there with you, sister. Mothers of Angsty Teens, UNITE!

  5. This amuses me!

    When I was in high school, I just *had* to have pink hair!

    My wonderful momma, whom I love so much, helped me put pink on the ends of my hair.

    Of course, not easily satisfied, I asked her the next day to put even more on the ends of my hair, so it went about halfway up. My mom humored me and helped me again.

    Again, not satisfied, I needed *all* of my hair to be pink. Apparently that's where she drew the line.

    So my friends did it for me! and I loved it! :D

    (we stained my friend's bathtub though.. oops! good thing for a white tub and ample amounts of bleach!)

    (also, side note... it took treatments and bleach to get my hair back to a normal color - oops!)

    - Sara

    1. Yeah, getting it out... of your hair and the fixtures sounds a bit tricky! That's a lot of pink!

  6. I'm so glad I have a little boy! I remember what I was like as a teenager and this is something I would've wanted to do to my hair had it been in style at the time! :) I'm following you back from What's Cooking in the Burbs. Thanks for stopping by my blog and I am glad the cookies turned out well! Have a great evening!

    1. We made four batches and ended up with about 9 1/2 dozen nice sized cookies. They are in the freezer and will be dessert tomorrow noon. Yum. I will definitely make them again.