I used to say he was a communication Neanderthal because of being single for ten years after his first marriage. Well, maybe that is the reason... maybe that's just how he is. I mean, we've been married for
For example, last night when I needed to go to the high school to pick up the Angsty Teen after the bus had returned from her game my car wouldn't start.
I left the Stern German a note that it was acting up (it has done this a couple of times in the past few weeks and he was able to fix it each time... although, clearly, not permanently.)
This morning I woke up to his note that said, "I didn't get it fixed the way I wanted." Which made me think it would be fine enough for a few more days or at least until later when he could spend more time on it. I got ready for my day... looked pretty good, had on a cute outfit... and went out to my car. The thing didn't start... not even a little.
Had to change into workout clothes, load up a backpack with The Kit and other necessities and get my bike out and ride to my parents' place.
When the Stern German got home in the afternoon... I mentioned that I thought he had the car running based on his note and he said, "No, I couldn't get it to turn over."
Is that what that damn note said? We just aren't on the same wavelength very often... if at all. (I'm pretty sure the note should've said, "Couldn't fix your car." I would've understood that.)
I did... after many years... figure out that if I have a glass or two of wine, our communication seems to go better.
A while ago I mentioned that to him... wording it so as not to offend him was tricky. I wanted to say, "When I drink, you sound smarter." I ended up saying, "It's not like when I drink you sound smarter... but when I've had a glass or two of wine, it helps me take what you say with a grain of salt."
|Kind of like marriage therapy...|
I said, "I only know if I drink it helps." Not the same thing... at all.
Over the years I have (sort of) learned that the first thing he says isn't what he really means at all... just need to give him time to reword what he is saying... several times.
Since drinking in a vehicle, even if you aren't the one driving, is more-than-frowned-upon in my state I was cold stone sober as we were coming home from the Angsty Teen's away game. It was a long drive (1 1/2 hours each way)... probably could've used a drink for the last thirty miles.
We had been talking about his new beer.
So when the Stern German said, "Am I a chubby chaser?" Apparently he was trying to be funny... and he was talking about the fact that he now is chasing chubby cans of beer.
Really? Maybe, dear Stern One, you waited a little too long from when we were talking about your new BF Surly until the time when you asked that question. Because... I HAD NO IDEA WE WERE TALKING ABOUT BEER.
But I should've know better... he's not a jerk... not very often... and he loves me... and he thinks I'm wonderful...and adorable... but he should've know better than to make a comment like that if I hadn't had any wine.