Thursday, January 3, 2013

Another One Bites the Dust

I remember back in college... yep, you're right... that was a very long time ago... but sometimes us old folks remember stuff that happened nearly a century ago...I went to my first tennis match.

I grew up in a largish town but went to a teeny, tiny school... there were 13 in my graduating class... That was the largest class that school ever had... really! Someday I will tell you more about that... but not today.

We didn't have tennis at my school... so I wasn't sure how to cheer... I'd been to football games, basketball games, and a professional hockey game... but this was so much more civilized.

I quickly learned about Tennis Etiquette from all the Lacoste-Alligator pastel clad spectators.

Here are a few of the things I learned:

You aren't supposed to cheer when someone makes a mistake... tennis is classy like that.

You aren't supposed to start The Wave... (no one will join in... trust me.)

You aren't supposed to "boo!" the opposing player/team. Pretty sure that one is inappropriate at all sporting events... maybe not Roller Derby or World Federation Wrestling...

But tennis is a classy sport...

(Why is this a fun sport to watch? No blood, no body slams, no checking, no injuries whatsoever... wait... there might've been a groin pull... that was pretty exciting... but that's the extent of the injuries I ever saw.)

Also, you can't yell "You Suck!" at anyone... not at players, their coaches, or the referees/umpires.

You can't heckle any of the abovementioned people either.

And you can't yell "Tennis Players Have Fuzzy Balls!" at any point before, during, or after the match... you may or may not get carried to the gate because of that one...

Oh, and you can't laugh if guy players get hit by a ball in the groin... well, you can snicker a little... but no loud chortling or guffawing.

That sort of injury will really raise the heart rate as proven by this SNL experiment:

So tonight when the Angsty Teen and the pep band from our high school play at... drum roll please.... are you ready???... play at....

a gymnastics meet... I'm stymied as to what I, as a spectator, can and cannot do. I'm pretty sure gymnastics is classy like tennis and golf... Dang.

So I probably shouldn't laugh or snicker when someone messes up*... I can't start The Wave... no yelling or booing... Gotta keep it classy. The Angsty Teen says I'm nothing if not classy.**

I wonder how long a gymnastics meet is? I found this helpful little tidbit in some handbook:

"The average meet can take as little as 3 ½ hours or as long as 6 hours. Some competitions 
begun back in the 80s are still not finished."

I could be there forever!

I do remember that our gymnastics room is pretty small... so not sure how they are going to fit extra spectators and a pep band in there... it's gonna be pretty loud... and probably a little bit crazy for those who are competing... but I guess they are trying to make all sports feel the pep bad love.

I just hope that the pep band has been given a crash course in Gymnastics Etiquette.

Because if someone falls off the beam, the pep band should probably not start playing "Another One Bites the Dust."
Obviously MARvelous

*I would never do that, really.
**The way she says that I'm beginning to wonder if she is sincere.


  1. Hahahaha.. Sally your posts keep me in stitches!!


  2. Haaaaaa! You are a riot! Have a good time!

  3. Pep band (which I love) at a gymnastics meet? Interesting!! Things that make you go hmmmmmmm.......