Thursday, February 28, 2013

Driving Me Crazy

Today is a scary day in my town.

Why? All the high school freshmen are taking... are taking.... are taking (pause, for dramatic effect)... their permit tests today.

The Angsty Teen takes hers at 8:00.

I'm not sure the world is ready for The Concussed One to have control/lack of control over a two ton machine.

I'm not sure this town is ready for The Concussed One to have control/lack of control over a two ton machine.

I'm not sure that I am ready for The Concussed One to have control/lack of control over a two ton piece of machinery... my two ton piece of machinery.

There, I said it out loud, well, I typed it out loud...

When I see her spastic side, it kind of puts the fear of God in me to have her driving... but I am pretending I'm happy for her to get her permit and feigning excitement for her to drive. (Fakin' it 'til I'm makin' it...)

I am usually more of a "glass half full" kind of person... so here's the good side of all this...

Since the Angsty Teen doesn't want to drive with the Stern German (probably sure you can figure that one out. No? Read his name aloud... now do you get it?) that leaves me as the indisputable choice as the Most Drivewithable Parent. (That phrase will probably catch on quickly...)

Also, since the Stern German would sooner own a cat than let anyone drive his truck, my vehicle is the indisputable choice as the Most Drivable Vehicle in the garage.

Why is this good? Well, this gives me power. I like power. It makes me feel... well, powerful.

I promise to try to wield this power carefully... but in order for me to have time to take her out to practice driving, she will have to take on some of my work and responsibilities. In order for me to have the energy to spend hour upon hour driving riding around town clenching the armrests, I will need someone to not suck all my energy from me... She will need to work harder to be responsible, respectful, and fun to be around.

Or she could just go talk to her grandparents about doing more things for themselves. That would free up both time and energy for me...

Basically, it boils down to this:
    more helpfulness = more time for going out driving

I will keep you posted on how this all goes.

Today she might pass the test, and that's kind of a scary thought, but March 7th is an even scarier date. That is the date the trimester ends and every freshmen in town will be racing down to the DMV to get their permits. (Note to self: not a good day to try to get your license tabs renewed.) That's the day they can officially start driving.

The town is safe for another week...

Good luck, Angsty Teen. I'm positive you will pass your test.

It's a fun season of life... more so for you than me. Does anyone know how to score some Xanax?

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