Tuesday, June 4, 2013

My Life

This collage pretty much sums up the relationship between the Angsty Teen and the Stern German:
As much as the Angsty Teen is similar to the "Girl With the Curl Down the Middle of Her Forehead"... her father is just as much like that...
When she/he was good, she/he was very, very, good...
But when she/he was bad, she/he was horrid.

Sometimes I find him to be humorous... There may or may not be a direct correlation between the amount of humor I find and the amount of wine I have consumed...

On Saturday night the two of them sat on the couch together... as the Angsty Teen was perusing Pinterest.

I'd only had a little wine... so, that was unfortunate...

The Stern German (SG), who is totally exemplifies functionality... not creativity or stylishness... was commenting to the Angsty Teen (AT)...

SG: Who's that?
AT: It's Usher.
SG: What's that mean?
AT: What?
SG: What is that?
AT: He's a singer, rapper dude... He's not a church usher...

SG: What's that guy wearing?
AT: That guy?
SG: Yeah, his pants are red!
AT: They are straight-legged jeans... colorful one.
SG: His pants are short. His jacket is too tight. He looks stupid.
AT: He's a hipster.
SG: A what?
AT: A hipster...
This is what the Angsty Teen tweeted at that point:

SG: What is that guy wearing?
AT: What? Purple shoes, purple belt, black jeans....
SG: Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
AT: Wouldn't you wear that?
SG: I'm not gay.

SG: What are you supposed to glean from looking at this?

SG: What's with the kilt?

SG: Is there anything on here for men?
AT: Cars and motorcycles... does that make you happy?
SG: Where's the hunting stuff?
AT: Oh, they've got an outdoor section.

So the Angsty Teen clicks on the "Outdoor" tab.
SG: Outdoor... decorating??? That's ridiculous.

SG: What's that?
SG: It's a gun...Woohoo!

SG: This thing is more for women.

SG: I don't think much of preppers.
AT: Peppers?
SG: Preppers.
AT: What's a "prepper"?
(I'm looking sadly at my empty wine glass...  wondering if he means "preppies"?)
SG: Someone who stores up stuff for the end of the world.
(Pretty sure that even though people do that... that "prepper" isn't a real word.

The Angsty Teen gives it one more try to convince her dad that Pinterest is great...
AT: What about that guy?
SG: Ooooohhh... look at that... what'd they do? Seasoned a cast iron pan! (He was genuinely impressed!)

SG: Pancakes? Ooooohhh.... that's interesting... (and he really thought it was!)

SG: What's that? Click on it... I want to see, I want to see.... "Do It Yourself Firestarters"!

By this point, even though he was starting to not hate Pinterest, the Angsty Teen was pretty annoyed with the Stern German... I just wanted them out of the living room and/or I wanted a(nother) full glass of wine. Okay... that's a lie... no "and/or"... just "and"... (Hey, Kati... bet you wish you'd been here!)

SG: Are you ready for me to go away?
AT: (farts)
The Stern German leaves the room... Clearly, she should've tried that tactic a long time ago...


  1. HAHAHA that is amazing and I seriously need to send you wine just for witnessing it.

    Also, prepper, surprisingly, is a real word. They call themselves Dooms Day Preppers. Or at least they do on Bones, and tv is always real life...

  2. hahaha...maybe you should have farted, cleared the room, then had another glass of wine! And I didn't know they were called 'preppers'. Your blog is informative :-)