Wednesday, July 31, 2013

I Understand

I haven't sat down and read blogs for a while. Well, actually... I haven't read many blogs for a very, very, very, very, very, very, long time.

Sorry about that...
Yep... I now have 696 blog posts to read... in all my spare time. Not sure when I'll get back on track with those.

My life is always somewhat crazy... I left town for a few days last week... and then I came back... to my crazy life...

On Sunday afternoon the Stern German said, "Wow. I'm exhausted after spending the morning with your parents."

Yeah, I know the feeling. Except that all he really did was:
  1. Drive to church with the Angsty Teen
  2. Save a row of seats in the back of the sanctuary.
  3. Unload my dad's walker and wheelchair.
  4. Push him into the building.
  5. Drive the Angsty Teen home for a bit. 
  6. Come join us for lunch.
My morning? Well.... I...
  1. Drove to my parents' place.
  2. Unloaded the small transport chair and put it in the entryway.
  3. Ran up to my parents' second floor apartment.
  4. Put used insulin syringes in the sharps container.
  5. Wiped up food from the linoleum.
  6. Helped my mom on with her jacket.
  7. Made sure my mom had her hearing aid.
  8. Helped my mom unload her walker with all the things she wouldn't need at church.
  9. Got my dad to the hallway.
  10. Put my bag on the back of his chair.
  11. Folded and handed him his walker.
  12. Wheeled him to the elevator.
  13. Wheeled him to the car.
  14. Unlocked the car.
  15. Moved the passenger side front seat forward so my dad had room to get into the car.
  16. Got his walker set up and got him in the car.
  17. Moved the passenger side front seat forward so my mom had room to get into the car.
  18. This included helping him push/twist/bend his legs/feet so he could get into the back seat.
  19. Got my Lands End diaper bag off of the back of his wheelchair.
  20. Manhandled his 40 pound wheelchair into the trunk.
  21. Folded his walker and creatively fit it into the trunk.
  22. Quickly slammed trunk closed so nothing could fall out.
  23. Helped my mom get into the front seat.
  24. Folder her rolling walker and got it into the car next to my dad.
  25. Got into the car, buckled up, proceeded out of the parking lot with caution.
  26. Drove to church.
  27. Nabbed the last available handicapped parking space at church.
  28. Got my mom's walker out of the car.
  29. Got my mom out of the car.
  30. At this point the Stern German unloaded my dad's walker and wheelchair. (See #3 on his list.)
  31. Moved the front passenger side seat forward so my dad had room to get out of the car.
  32. Got my bag on the back of the wheelchair.
  33. Locked the car.
  34. At this point I had to race my dad to the bathroom... He was acting like it was an emergency.
  35. Maneuvered the wheelchair through the door and into the handicapped stall in the women's bathroom.
  36. Made it! No arse wiping required... Bonus!
  37. Got him back in the chair.
  38. Maneuvered him out the door.
  39. Hand-gelled him up.
  40. Hand-gelled myself up as well.
  41. Pushed him to the sanctuary.
  42. Attended church.
  43. Said "hi" to a couple of people as they walked out.
  44. Looked for the Stern German who had gone off to talk to someone.
  45. Went looking for my mom's walker that the Stern German had stashed somewhere...
  46. It wasn't where he usually stashed it... so I kept looking.
  47. Finally found the walker.
  48. Took the walker in to my mom... Everyone else was leaving the sanctuary... kind of tricky.
  49. Got my bag on the back of the wheelchair.
  50. Checked with everyone over the age of 80 who was in my presence to see if they needed to stop at a bathroom on our way out.
  51. Convinced the elderly lady behind my dad that I wasn't asking her...
  52. Kept looking for the Stern German.
  53. Wheeled my dad out into the crowded foyer.
  54. Greeted the senior pastor and he chatted with my dad for a few minutes.
  55. Lost my mom.
  56. Found my mom out by the door.
  57. Asked if either of my parents needed to use the bathroom before we left. They assured me they didn't.
  58. Wheeled my dad to the car... slowly... so my mom could keep up.
  59. Unlocked the car. 
  60. Moved the passenger side front seat forward so my dad had more room to get into the car.
  61. Got out my dad's walker.
  62. Helped my dad into the car.
  63. This included helping him push/twist/bend his legs/feet so he could get into the back seat.
  64. Moved the passenger side front seat back so my mom had room to get into the car.
  65. Got my mom in the car.
  66. Put my bag in the car.
  67. Loaded my dad's 40 lb. wheelchair into the trunk.
  68. Folded his walker and creatively fit it into the trunk.
  69. Quickly slammed trunk closed so nothing could fall out.
  70. Helped my mom get into the front seat.
  71. Folder her rolling walker and got it into the car next to my dad.
  72. Got into the car, buckled up, proceeded out of the parking lot with caution.
  73. Since no one had needed to go to the bathroom ten minutes earlier, I suggested going for a drive.
  74. Was told everyone now needed to go to the bathroom... urgently, no less.
  75. Drove back to my parents' place.
  76. Got out my dad's walker.
  77. Lifted the 40 lb. wheelchair out of the trunk.
  78. Got my dad out of the backseat of the car... no small feat.
  79. Got my mom her walker.
  80. Got my bag out of the car and onto the back of the wheelchair.
  81. Shut all the doors and the trunk.
  82. Raced my dad in to go to the bathroom.
  83. He needed an arse wiping, but since we were back at his assisted living place, I got help for this!!
  84. Got him back into the wheelchair.
  85. Kept looking for the Angsty Teen and the Stern German.
  86. Took my dad outside to look at or garden while my mom went up to the apartment to get my dad's testing kit and insulin.
  87. The Angsty Teen and the Stern German joined us.
  88. We sat out on the front porch for a few minutes before lunch.
  89. We all sat down for lunch.
  90. I cleanup up the cherry pie filling all over my dad's hands... and his coffee cup... and his fork handle with at least three different wet wipes. He eats his dessert ASAP...
  91. Cut up my dad's food.
  92. Put creamer in my dad's coffee.
  93. Got up and got him a new cloth napkin... one that wasn't covered in what looked like blood.
  94. Got to eat my own lunch.
  95. Put my bag on the back of the wheelchair.
  96. Wheeled my dad back up to the elevator after lunch.
  97. Got him back to their apartment.
  98. Eventually left my parents' apartment.
  99. Grabbed my bag.
  100. Drove home.*
So, yeah... I can see why the Stern German was exhausted...



*Unfortunately this is by no means an exhaustive list... just an exhausting one.

2 comments:

  1. Whew I'm exhausted just reading it. You are such a sweet daughter!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sometimes you just have to mark them all as read and start clean :)

    ReplyDelete