Thursday, November 21, 2013

Big Day

The Angsty Teen showed me this stupid video several months ago. But I thought of it as I wrote this post...

Today is a big day. Well, not for me, thank you, Jesus. But it's a big day for the Stern German.

He is having his very first... drum roll please... colonoscopy! Woohoo!

I convinced him to change doctors... he's never really had a doctor until last year (probably a good idea to get one before you are 60!!!) and while I think his cardiologist from Mayo in Rochester is top notch... the regular doctor he ended up with in the neighboring town seemed to be a dud.

Excuse me? The patient's wife had to (finally) call to ask when you were ordering blood work that was supposed to have be done several months earlier? Not great.

So the Stern German went to see the nurse practitioner that the bariatric, geriatric, diabetic blind guy sees... Okay, yeah... he doesn't "see" him... but it's his care provider. Better? He seems quite thorough and capable to me... no, not the bariatric, geriatric, diabetic blind guy... the doctor!

Now we are here... It's the big day. Yesterday and again early this morning the Stern German drank as much as he could of the product called "Go Lightly" before he was gaggin'.

The Angsty Teen happened to walk by the bathroom while he was in there for the twelfth time last night.... and the Stern German let out a disgusting burp-y, barf-y noise.

The Angsty Teen hollered in to him, "Wrong end." That was helpful, to be sure.

Anyway, "Go Lightly" appears to a product on the market that is completely misnamed.

Other options? Well, let's see... Crap Constantly? Poop Persistently? Pooping in Perpetuum?  Voiding Veraciously? Rip 'em Repeatedly? Emptying Endlessly? Boweling for Dollars? Devotedly Dunging It? Earnest Excretions? Steadfast Stools? Crappin' 'til the Cows Come Home?

Well... there we go... any other ideas?

The good news? After all this is done the Stern German needs to have someone at home with him for the rest of the day. So I get to stay home!!

Except for my mom's appointment in the afternoon to get a cortisone shot... but that hardly counts.

1 comment:

  1. hahahaha the fact that you came up with so many wonderful names for Go Lightly - I'm dying!