Friday, December 27, 2013


I guess today was Friday. Huh... go figure. I didn't take the time to blog all week.

I  played with this boy this morning... we baked cookies.

We made Gluten-Free Peanut Butter Cookies to share with Kati.

But when Auntie Kati saw how much I let this boy taste all the ingredients... at one point he tried to stick his entire head into the mixing bowl to bob for dough... she chose not to try a cookie. 

I just sent them home with him... I didn't eat one either!

I've (nearly) survived Christmas. We have one more get together on Sunday. But tomorrow? Tomorrow is my birthday!

Today I decided to hit the cleaning of the house hard... Because tomorrow? That is not in my plan.

I really wanted to have help from my girls... but sometimes that's a bit tricky.

Kati had plans with a friend for coffee at 12:30 this afternoon... and now it is 9:00 pm and she just walked in the door. Glad I didn't wait for her to be home to help... I'm too tired to do anymore now.

I I bribed the Angsty Teen to help me. I told her I would give her $20 for one hour of solid work.

I pointed out that it was more than twice the hourly wage she makes working the the little gift shop in town where she occasionally helps out... and she was suddenly on board with the plan.

She was a pretty good worker... she didn't whine or complain much... and we accomplished a lot!

Then tonight after supper, the Stern German, the Angsty Teen, and I did a little more work. Yay!

Since tomorrow is my birthday... I'm starting off the day with mimosas... I'm not going to do any housework...  I'm not going to make anything... I want to be a bum.

I want to sit around...  I want to watch a movie... and... well, do whatever it is that bums do all day... except that I will make my family join me to eat lunch with my parents... Pretty sure that bums don't do that... although my brother ate with them last week... so I guess you could argue that point.

I will make mimosas, dinner plans, and a couple of fun drinks... but that's about it... I hope.

Wish me luck... things rarely turn out as good as I hope they will... but a girl can dream.

Friday, December 20, 2013

High Five for Friday

Fridays seem to come around pretty often... and here it is again!

Since it's Friday... that means I'm supposed to tell you my five highlights... so, without further adieu...

I will tell you what the top five things are that I survived this week...

I survived:
1. The recovery of the Angsty Teen from her wisdom tooth ordeal.
She didn't get dry sockets... YAY!
The cloth napkins I put over the ice packs coordinate nicely with my chair!
2. A really long Christmas choir concert.
There were about seven different choirs/ensembles... each sang several songs...
3.  My brother's trip to to town.
Someone who met him told me he looked old enough to be my dad.
That person is my new best friend.
4. Monday night with The Grand Boys.
This guy was just a little naughty... but so dang cute. And boy #2 laid in my arms for an hour and a half in his Lightning McQueen underwear... with a fever of over a 102... while his clothes and blankets were in the wash since he'd thrown up all over them.

He didn't want to wear any of the clothes i had... What a night.
"Oh, is this what I'm not supposed to pick up?"
 5. Listening to over twenty songs that high school kids arranged for instrumental ensembles.
The Angsty Teen pretty much just pretended to play because her mouth hurt. Some of the arrangements were so good... and other ones were kind of painful to have to sit through. Maybe I should've jacked one of that girl's Vicodin beforehand.

That's the list of the things I survived this week. It's been a long and busy week. Hope the weekend is a little quieter... but it probably won't be!

Have a great weekend! Kati is coming home later in the weekend... woohoo! It will be great to spend time with both my girls together.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

The Jar

If you were a music-listening person in the 70s and 80s.... then... you are old. Haha... I was going to say, "Just kidding!"... but it's probably true.

This song has been running through my head since last night. Thought I would share it with you so it can get stuck in your head, too!

It's not a bad song; in fact, it's pretty great. It's just that no part of it except the "She's gone."... which I have adjusted in my head to sound like "He's gone." is applicable to my situation.

I just keep singing that one line over and over. And, instead of it sounding like "He's gone."... it sounds a little more like "He's gone!" (Big difference... did you notice the exclamation mark?"

Well, maybe a little more like "He's gone!!!!!"

Okay, maybe a lot more like "HE'S GONE!!!!!"

Probably more like "HE'S GONE!!!!!"

Yeah, you're right. It's definitely more like "HE'S GONE!!!!!"

or "HE'S GONE!!!!!"

or "HE'S GONE!!!!!"

I think you get the idea.

Anyway, I think I pretty much survived my brother's visit... Although they haven't left town yet. But, I'm not slated to see them this morning. They said good bye to us all yesterday/last night. yipee!

If I had a jar like they have on "New Girl"...I know, right? Me referencing something current from a TV show? Well, it's not that current... apparently it's already on season three...

If I had a jar like they have on "New Girl"... If you don't know about the jar... they call it a "douche jar". Urban Dictionary defines "douche" as:
a word to describe an individual who has shown themself to be very brainless in one way or another

And on the show anytime anyone says something rude they have to put money in the jar... although... I think it's only Schmidt that ever has to put money in the jar...

That being stated... If I had used a jar like that while my brother was visiting...I would've made bank. He's pretty rude... and, unfortunately, not funny. Just straight up rude.

I'll have to keep that in mind for his next visit in three to five years.

But for now... I'll just keep singing my song...

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Making a List...

Got back from having lunch with my mom and the diabetic, geriatric, bariatric blind guy... a.k.a. my dad... and my not-so-great-to-be-around brother, his wife, son, and daughter who pulled into town last night.
I may or may not have pregamed... just a little... it may or may not have helped... Just sayin'.

But, I did take my mother at her word. She told me to take a break while my brother was in town because he could help them with stuff. I'm sure that'll go well...

At 10:30 this morning my mom called my house. I didn't answer... Remember? She told me to take a break... I was just obeying my mother.

When she couldn't reach me she called my new cell phone number. I was so proud of her for figuring out how to call it, I rewarded her by answering. 

We chatted for a few minutes... my goal was to keep it to less than five minutes. I succeeded. Yay, me.

She asked me when I would be over. I told her in a little over an hour. I would be there just in time for lunch.

I asked her how she was enjoying her time with A... a.k.a. my brother, a.k.a. her son... a.k.a. The Chosen One... she said he hadn't shown up yet.  Well, there's a big surprise. Maybe the "A" stands for something other than his name...

So since I was choosing to take my mom at her word... I didn't show up at all this morning. Just got there in time for lunch. When I walked into the dining room... my mom said, "Well, she's finally here." and the diabetic, geriatric, blind guy said, "You're really late." Huh... no, actually lunch is served now... so... I figure I'm right on time...

The idea of having someone else help them with stuff sounds great... in theory... but... I was kind of afraid it would just make more work for me in the long run.

After lunch... when we went back up to my parents' place... I noticed that my mom had a grocery list on the table... AND... she was ready to give it to me. What? I'm on break!!!!!

Three of the items on the grocery list had stars by them. My mom said they were the things that she "desperately" needed... milk; distilled water for the diabetic, geriatric, bariatric blind guy's CPAP machine; and breakfast sandwiches.

Also on the list? Waffles, syrup, eggs, bread thins, cereal, and.... wait for it... stool softeners. 

She said I could just get the three items that she had stars next to them... and I could get the other things in a few days.

That was big of her. Except for the fact that... I'm on a (much-needed, highly-desired) break.

There were other things on the list... but the one that made me smile a little was... stool softeners.

Yep, my mom needed stool softeners. But.. "You can just get them for me later. I have enough to last for three more days."

Hey, guess what? I 'm on a break... and I think someone else can buy the damn stool softeners so that my break can last just a little bit longer...

When I told my mom that I thought we should just add them to the list for A to get... She said, "Well, he won't know what to buy." Really? How many kinds could there be???

I said, "That's true... but don't you have a bottle you could show him." I mean, yes... he's an idiot... but... he's not a complete idiot. Well, that may or may not be true...

When my mom asked if I'd gone to the bank to get more money to buy their stuff for them...  I said I hadn't gotten there... I told her that I was pretty sure A could spring for the items and that she could pay him back later... or not... seriously? The things would cost less than $15.

So... my while mom presented A with the list of things needed from Walmart... I walked out the door.

I didn't go to the bank.

I didn't go to Walmart.

I didn't do anything but drive home.

Oh, I did do one other thing... I rued the fact that my mom's pee pads weren't on the Walmart list. That would've been pretty great...

I hate buying those things.

Monday, December 16, 2013

More Hours in the Day

It's the week before the week before Christmas.

I felt like I was on top of my game in November... Well... only in the area of gift buying.

I was probably on top of my game as far as baking and decorating too... but only in my head since I had actually started either of those things yet.

It can feel a little overwhelming... what will all the stuff to do to get ready for Christmas. But this is a week that actually has double the number of hours in a day. I should be able to productive beyond belief!

What? Why? I'm sure you are wondering how I'm going to get double the number of hours in my days.

It's kind of a secret...

...but I can tell you.

I might have try sell this idea to other people... so don't tell anyone until I get my patent.

The reason? My brother is coming to town.

I know what you're thinking...

"Wow... that's great. He must be going to help Sally. I bet he is going to do everything for their mom and their diabetic, geriatric, bariatric blind guy dad for the next week so Sally can get stuff done. What a great guy!"

That would be great... but if that's what you thought... you are dead wrong.

Actually, dead, dead wrong. That might be a poor choice of words... one can only hope... just kidding...

My brother is pretty much unhelpful and not fun to be around... and... well... never mind... that's a post for another day.

So... what's my secret for getting more hours in my days?

Well, last week... when my dad asked me how long my brother is staying... I replied, "Huh... guess I wouldn't know that since he hasn't called me about the visit. He just told you and his family were coming when you happened to call him last week."

I continued, "But I'm pretty sure... that no matter how long he stays... it will feel like for-freakin-ever."

The diabetic, geriatric, bariatric blind guy laughed. So, at least he gets that my brother is awful to be around.

So, see? I'm thinking that the two or three days my brother and his family will be here will actually feel like at least two or three times that many days.

In theory, I should be able to get a lot of work done in all the extra time that I will have!

Day after day after freakin' day... so much time... so much work to do...

I probably should've carb loaded last night...

Oh, and if you want your days to slow down... where one day will seem as long as two or three days... so that you can increase your productivity also? Just let me know! I'll arrange for my brother to visit you.

Friday, December 13, 2013

High Five for Friday

I haven't blogged all week. It's been crazy. With all the stuff that has gone on this week, I'm not really any closer to being ready for Christmas than I was a week ago. Dang...

Plus, it's Friday the 13th... so that's rather unfortunate... but really? I'm thinking that things couldn't possibly seem more bizarre than normal.

Oh well... I'll get my act together... eventually. Or not... either way... Christmas will be here on time!

Since last Friday... here are five of the highlights from my week:

1. I was able to celebrate Kati's birthday with her!
2. Santa came and visited... and we determined my dad had been naughty this year.
Pretty sure that's not the real Santa...
3. I was able to go and see the Angsty Teen's singing group perform...
I think the pic's a bit blurry...  or maybe I need to wash my glasses... but I'm too tired to care! Sorry.

4. This little guy came and played on Wednesday.

  • baked chocolate chip cookies
  • read books
  • played with trains
  • didn't pee our pants (I think he was worried about me on that one...)
  • watched a John Deere tractor video
It was his idea of a perfect morning... And, he learned what happens when you blow on a big bowl of flour. Hilarious.

5. The Angsty Teen is recovering from having her wisdom teeth out yesterday.
What song comes to mind when you see her picture? This is what I started singing to her:

Antibiotics every six hours, alternating different pain meds every three hours, and ice packs every 45 minutes... this is kind of an exhausting job! But she's been doing great... so that's good news.

Hope you have a great weekend.

Friday, December 6, 2013

High Five for Friday!

Happy Friday!

I am at Kati's... I drove to Omaha to celebrate her birthday. We had a nice evening going out for dinner and meeting up with a friend of hers for dessert.

Now Kati is at work... and I'm at her apartment... by myself... as in alone... all alone.

Not gonna lie... I'm pretty excited about my day...

I do believe I am:

1. Not wiping anyone's arse.
Sorry, guys.... not today.
2. Not taking anyone to to any doctor's appointments.
Last week? There were four doctor appointments and next week there are three... but none today!

3. Not pushing any wheelchairs or loading walkers into cars.
You would think I would have totally buff arms by now. That is not the case.
4. Not repeating what I say until it is heard and understood... I said, "Not repeating what I say until it is hear and understood!"
She's very sweet... but most days can't hear worth a lick.
5. Possibly day drinking... just a little... and watching mindless television... or maybe even taking a nap... People do that, right?
Who am I kidding? I don't nap... and I don't sit around doing nothing... but it could happen.

We'll see... Who knows how I will spend my day.

But, barring any crises at home... I will be here with Kati until Sunday. So... no butt-wiping for a few days... at least that's what I'd like to think!

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Happy Birthday, Kati!

Today is Kati's birthday! And, hopefully... if the weather cooperates... by the time you read this... I will be on my way to visit her for a long weekend. Woohoo!

Kati, I'm proud of you for so many reasons...

... that you love Jesus...
... that you are a kind sister to the Angsty Teen...
... and that you learned, early on, how to smile and be ready for a pic even if the baby wasn't ready...
... that you are fun to travel with... (or that you are a fun person with which to travel...)
 ... and that you are a fun person in general!

 Cheers to you! Happy Birthday! I love you abundantly.

See you tonight!

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Christmas is Coming

Yep, it's true... I'm not necessarily behind schedule on the Christmas preparations I need to do. I mean, the living/dining room area is decorated enough and packages keep arriving nearly every day from Amazon. So it's all pretty much good.

The tree is up... and the lights are on it. And, when it came time to decorate the treeI realized that year after every-dang-year the Angsty Teen says she wants to help put the ornaments on the tree... and then I wait... and I wait... and I wait... and in the end... I end up doing them by myself because she is never in the mood to help after all.

This year I asked her if she wanted to help with the tree or if she wanted me to go ahead and drink copious amounts of wine and decorate it on my own. (Okay, that's probably not how I worded the question to her... that's just how it sounded in my head.)

She said she wanted to help.

Yep, that's what she said.

Pretty sure that girl is a dirty, rotten liar.
Dirty. Rotten. Liar.
Because she never did help with the tree. Well, she helped a teeny, tiny  bit.

She helped put the first ornament on the tree. It was a comical replica of the dog we no longer have.

We didn't cry when we put it on the tree... so that's progress... at least for the Angsty Teen. I wasn't sure if she would cry or not... but I was pretty sure I wouldn't cry.

I thought I would just be ever-so-slightly relieved that the damn dog wasn't barking liking a maniac in the middle of the night from our heated, attached garage... where he reigned supreme... at the end of the hallway... just down from our bedroom.

After that ornament was on the Christmas tree, and the Angsty Teen put approximately two more decorations on the tree... she proceeded to go sit at the bar counter and work on a project for band.

I guess I should be impressed that she put about three times more ornaments on the tree than she did last year. Just think... next year she might put up almost ten of the dozens and dozens of ornaments we have.

Anyway... now the tree is decorated and... yes... the bottle of Pinot Gris is gone... and by some strange quirk of fate... I'm not even mad that she didn't help. It's probably the wine.

I do like wine.