I may or may not have pregamed... just a little... it may or may not have helped... Just sayin'.
But, I did take my mother at her word. She told me to take a break while my brother was in town because he could help them with stuff. I'm sure that'll go well...
At 10:30 this morning my mom called my house. I didn't answer... Remember? She told me to take a break... I was just obeying my mother.
When she couldn't reach me she called my new cell phone number. I was so proud of her for figuring out how to call it, I rewarded her by answering.
We chatted for a few minutes... my goal was to keep it to less than five minutes. I succeeded. Yay, me.
She asked me when I would be over. I told her in a little over an hour. I would be there just in time for lunch.
I asked her how she was enjoying her time with A... a.k.a. my brother, a.k.a. her son... a.k.a. The Chosen One... she said he hadn't shown up yet. Well, there's a big surprise. Maybe the "A" stands for something other than his name...
So since I was choosing to take my mom at her word... I didn't show up at all this morning. Just got there in time for lunch. When I walked into the dining room... my mom said, "Well, she's finally here." and the diabetic, geriatric, blind guy said, "You're really late." Huh... no, actually lunch is served now... so... I figure I'm right on time...
The idea of having someone else help them with stuff sounds great... in theory... but... I was kind of afraid it would just make more work for me in the long run.
After lunch... when we went back up to my parents' place... I noticed that my mom had a grocery list on the table... AND... she was ready to give it to me. What? I'm on break!!!!!
Three of the items on the grocery list had stars by them. My mom said they were the things that she "desperately" needed... milk; distilled water for the diabetic, geriatric, bariatric blind guy's CPAP machine; and breakfast sandwiches.
Also on the list? Waffles, syrup, eggs, bread thins, cereal, and.... wait for it... stool softeners.
She said I could just get the three items that she had stars next to them... and I could get the other things in a few days.
That was big of her. Except for the fact that... I'm on a (much-needed, highly-desired) break.
There were other things on the list... but the one that made me smile a little was... stool softeners.
Yep, my mom needed stool softeners. But.. "You can just get them for me later. I have enough to last for three more days."
Hey, guess what? I 'm on a break... and I think someone else can buy the damn stool softeners so that my break can last just a little bit longer...
When I told my mom that I thought we should just add them to the list for A to get... She said, "Well, he won't know what to buy." Really? How many kinds could there be???
I said, "That's true... but don't you have a bottle you could show him." I mean, yes... he's an idiot... but... he's not a complete idiot. Well, that may or may not be true...
When my mom asked if I'd gone to the bank to get more money to buy their stuff for them... I said I hadn't gotten there... I told her that I was pretty sure A could spring for the items and that she could pay him back later... or not... seriously? The things would cost less than $15.
So... my while mom presented A with the list of things needed from Walmart... I walked out the door.
I didn't go to the bank.
I didn't go to Walmart.
I didn't do anything but drive home.
Oh, I did do one other thing... I rued the fact that my mom's pee pads weren't on the Walmart list. That would've been pretty great...
I hate buying those things.