Wednesday, January 15, 2014

55 Alive

My mom signed up to take the "55 Alive" safe driving class through AARP. By taking this class she will save $100 on her car insurance over the next year.

That sounds like a great plan. But there are a couple of problems with this plan.

Problem one? Well, she no longer drives. She hasn't driven her car in over two years.

So... in order for her to take the safe driving class... I'll have to:
  • drive over to her place
  • warm up her car in the 18 degree windy weather
  • go inside and get her
  • make sure she has her hearing aid
  • make sure she brought an extra hearing aid battery
  • make sure she packed an extra pee pad
  • see that she brought her Trac phone
  • help her with her coat
  • pull the car up to the door
  • get her in the warm car
  • load up her walker
  • drive her to the class
  • find a place to park
  • unload the walker
  • unload my mother
  • walk her inside the building
  • find the classroom
  • take her coat for her
  • get her registration papers
  • help her find a seat
  • tell the dumb guy leading the class, several times, that I'm not a participant
And then do most of that in reverse order four hours later... except then it will be colder than 10 degrees. Brrr.

Also? My dad can't really be alone for four hours... that's a long time for the diabetic, bariatric, geriatric, blind guy to be by himself. So after I get my mom to the class... which is across the street from my house... I don't get to go home.

I will go back to my parents' place to spend a couple of hours with my dad and get him supper.

Problem two? I was hoping to go to my cooking class in the Twin Cities the night of the class. Instead, I will go to my cooking class next week on Wednesday... which is okay... except for the fact that I had planned a ton of errands to do while I was up there.

Next Wednesday I can't leave town early to run the errands before class because my mom has a dental appointment here in town in the late afternoon.. and... remember? She doesn't drive... except me... crazy... So I guess she does drive...

In order to run the errands I need to get done, I'm thinking of getting a cheapish Priceline hotel room so that I can run the errands the next day... Otherwise I'd have to try to get back up to the metro area another day to get my stuff done. That's tricky to do.

Yep, glad you are taking a safe driving class, Mom... this is going to be a money saver, for sure.

Let's do the math...

      For  my mom:
          Savings on car insurance: $100
          Cost of the class                - $25
          Net savings:                        $75

Sounds like a good return on my mom's investment.

How do the numbers look for me?

Well... let's look...

Hours spent with my dad:                       2.5
Hours spent chauffeuring my mother:  +1.0
Total hours involved:                              3.5

I'd like to think my time is more valuable than a minimum wage income... but even if that's all my time is worth... The time alone will cost me $25.

Cost of cheap hotel room: $55 with all the taxes/fees (I love paying for the Minnesota Vikings' new stadium...)

Cost of a box of wine that I am definitely going to be needing by the time I get home? $13

So... while my mom saves $75 this night will end up costing me... at the very least... $93.

Dang. Maybe I should've just offered to give her $75... It would have been cheaper for me.


  1. That's an excursion, and then some! Buy the wine before hand, you will def's need it during the day for a pick me up.
    When I take my Dad out the day starts hours beforehand ~ I have to phone to get him up, but the phone call has to be done in 2 parts (nothing is ever easy). First call is to wake him up, let the phone ring 10 times. He then gets up and races (no, actually shuffles) to the loo (the elderly weak bladder), then he will sit next to the phone waiting for me to phone for the 2nd time (about 5 mins after the first alert). Who needs an alarm clock, right!

  2. Oh you need more than one box of wine for that debacle!